Advice On Relationships

how to cope with a break up
Any type of loss from losing keys, to pets, to relationship breakups, to the death of a loved one causes some degree of pain. Granted, all losses aren't the same and losing the one you thought you would be in a relationship with for a long while is certainly one of the most devastating.

Break up pain can often cause you to wonder if you will ever feel emotionally well again.
Dealing with a loss, which breakup pain is, is never an easy or pleasant experience. If you view a breakup as a loss of someone who cared deeply for-and really, how else can it be viewed- then dealing with your grief is a necessity.

A number of years ago Elizabeth Kubler- Ross wrote a book, "On Death and Dying, and in it she identified five stages that a dying patient likely experiences upon learning of a terminal illness. Since that time psychologists have often felt that we also experience some, if not all, of those stages over a major loss.
These stages are:
•Denial- this isn't happening to me!
• Anger- why is this happening to me?
• Bargaining- I promise I'll be a better person if...
• Depression- I don't care anymore
• Acceptance- I'm ready for whatever comes

Sometimes just knowing that what we're experiencing is somewhat normal can help us deal with the pain. If you are in the early stages of dealing with a breakup, know that you can get through it and there are sources of help for you. Not everyone goes through all these stages; not going through each stage doesn't mean that your grief isn't real.

Often dealing with the pain experienced when there is a romantic breakup is so hard because it's so easy to feel as if you are the only one who has ever suffered this kind of pain. Dwelling on how terrible the loss of your ex is will not help you in the healing process. Rather, the quicker you can reach the acceptance stage the better.

It will be helpful for you to spend time with your friends. If you let friendships cool while you were in the relationship, now is a good time to reconnect. Often people dealing with a relationship loss retreat and don't allow friends to help. Almost everyone has had your experience at some time and though the pain leaves we still remember those times. Let your friends help you deal with your heartbreak.



When you are alone, don't focus only on how bad your life is. To promote healing, think about what is good in your life.
You will be able to recover from the broken relationship, get over the heartbreak and most likely meet someone who is the perfect match for you
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