Good relationships bring out the best in each of the parties. But in many cases the relationship is not providing this. It doesn’t matter if you are married or dating someone in a committed relationship
your self esteem issues are directly tied to that relationship: it can either make you feel better or worse about yourself.We strive to find the person to share our lives with who will make us feel like great people. Sadly, in too many cases that doesn’t happen.
Many reach the point where they try to determine if the reason for the difficulties in the relationship is because of problems between the two of them or if one or both of them have problems that originated early in life. This kind of analyzing can be exhausting. You can spend an untold amount of time trying to get to the bottom of the matter and you may never solve that question.
What you do know is that you have problems now.
Rather than fretting about what happened in the past, the best thing you can do is to try to repair the relationship you are in now. You can find help from marriage counselors and other relationship specialists to help you build a strong relationship.
If the relationship is strong enough there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because your spouse or partner will help you overcome the challenges, just as you will be there for them.
One thing that will help in your relationship is to remove all criticism: don’t criticize your partner and don’t allow them to criticize you. Criticism makes one feel less powerful than the other; it is used to manipulate and is a form of abuse. A couple in a relationship should not be in a power struggle. Quit vying for power and the fights will disappear.
There are some additional things you can do to strengthen your relationship. If you have different beliefs, try talking about what each believes rather than accusing each other of being wrong or pointing out the weaknesses in their beliefs. Try to find common ground. No one is all right or all wrong.
Spend time discussing what each other’s role is in the relationship. Also find out what each person’s expectations are of the other. Let each other know what the other does that is hurtful, and what you need or want from the other. Not only will you be healing yourself, your partner will also be helped.
In any relationship there is always room for improvement and there are many things you can do to better the situation. Once you and your partner have worked to repair the relationship and have committed to stay together, you can work together to help each other be a better person. Healing yourself and healing the relationship go hand in hand. For more self healing tips…
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